We held our 3rd LinkedIn Livestream with Master Networker & Creative Strategy Consultant, Andy Brenits.

Watch it here and...

...you’ll learn how to network in person (even if you don't like groups)!

This month, we're digging deep into all the aspects of strategic networking and today our focus is on networking in person, especially if you’re an introvert.

Andy shared lots of tips, especially about:

• how to prepare for an in person event
• what to do when you're a "subject matter extrovert" and
• how to turn group networking into 1:1 networking

Listen here and below... 

If you like this, you'll love the free webinar I'm hosting on Monday, May 15 at 12-1 PM. It will change how you connect with people - especially potential clients - from here on out.

You won't want to miss this. I do hope you'll join us.  Sign up here now!

And you can read the full transcript of Episode #473 here: 

ilise benun:

We’re digging deep into all the aspects of strategic networking lately and today our focus is on networking in person, especially if you’re an introvert. Today’s guest is creative strategy consultant and master networker, Andy Brenits, who claims to be a “subject matter extrovert.” Can you relate? If so, listen and learn. 

Bonnie Fanning:
Hello everybody.

ilise benun:
Hello.

Bonnie Fanning:
Welcome back. Hi.

Andy Brenits:
Hi.

Bonnie Fanning:
Welcome back to Talking Networking. I'm Bonnie Fanning, and I'm here with everyone's favorite marketing mentor to creatives, Ilise Benun of marketing-mentor.com. Hi Ilise.

ilise benun:
Hello Bonnie.

Bonnie Fanning:
And Ilise's special guest today, Andy Brenits, who's a former corporate creative, and today he's a creative strategy consultant and a master in-person networker. So we're very excited you're here. Hi Andy.

Andy Brenits:
Hello everybody. Thanks for having here today.

Bonnie Fanning:
What's that?

Andy Brenits:
Thank you for having me here today.

Bonnie Fanning:
Of course. We're excited to have you. And today we're focusing on in-person networking, so including where to do it, how to do it in groups, or one-on-one and all of that stuff. So with that, Ilise, take it away.

ilise benun:
Thank you so much Bonnie. And Andy, I was thinking, we've known each other for a long time, but I can't remember, did you network me or did I network you?

Andy Brenits:
Oh, I networked the heck out of you, Ilise. I've read and followed you for a long time. I'd gone to the HOW Conference a few times, even spoken, attended, and I think there was one year when I was thinking about going on my own, and I came close to stalking you. I went to your sessions, I texted you. Somehow I got your info probably because we were both organizers or advisors. And I said, "Are you free for lunch or coffee one day?" And you of course said yes. And that was that.

ilise benun:
I remember that lunch. Thank you for that lunch. And the rest is history, as they say. And so we did meet in person originally, and that's what I wanted to talk to you about. That's one of the reasons I invited you. I think you are a master networker, especially when it comes to in-person. And so first I want to ask for your definition. What is networking to you, and how can people do it authentically without being salesy?

Andy Brenits:
That's a great question. I get asked that a lot from people in my own network and colleagues who I talk. To me, networking is not about selling yourself. It's not about trying to get clients overtly. I mean obviously we're all self-employed, so that's something we want to do. But networking's about building and deepening relationships with the people in your sphere, your contact list, network, whatever word you might want to use for all the people, or kind of know, or want to know. And if you are just yourself and just have conversations, ask questions, it's about getting to know someone else as much as it's them getting to know you, then it's not really difficult. That's really all it's about.

ilise benun:
And I do think it is about who you know and who knows you for sure. And that's why we want to expand our networks as much as possible. But when it comes to in-person networking, especially now post-pandemic, I think people are out of the groove, out of the habit. They probably didn't like it in the first place. And I would love to see actually in the comments who loves networking and who doesn't like networking. I'm not going to say hate because I don't want you to hate it. But one of the questions that you asked actually in a post this week was about if people like networking in groups versus one-on-one when it comes to in-person. And what did you find?

Andy Brenits:
So far the results are that there were very few, if none, for group networking. A lot of answers, and I don't have the numbers in front of me, so I'll be very unscientific. A lot of people like one-to-one, they building those relationships. But most say it really depends. I'm going to guess they're saying it depends on what their objective is. Some people like groups, or there's a purpose for going to groups, but then also the one-to-ones are good too. So it seems to be a lot of people like a blend, as opposed to just one or the other. A few people like to stay home with their cat.

ilise benun:
Yes. One of the ways that I've been defining networking lately is about making business friends. And one of my clients, Gigi Rosenberg, talks about it as going to a party. Think about it like going to a party. Although some people don't like parties and they really don't feel comfortable in groups. So I wanted to pick your brain about some of these questions. And the first one really is because I have a feeling we have a lot of people who don't like groups per se. And I always wonder actually, well what constitutes a group? Is it five people? Is it 25 people? Is it 100 people? Where do you draw the line? I would love to see that in the comments too actually. How many people do you consider it a group? But my question for you, Andy, is if people don't like networking in groups, is there another way to network?

Andy Brenits:
Absolutely. I have done group networking in the past. I'm a subject matter extrovert. When I go into a room full of people, and to me a group is three or more, I clam up. I won't talk. Believe it or not, me. You think-

ilise benun:
I have a hard time believing that.

Andy Brenits:
... I might like to walk into a room, "Hey, it's Andy, I'm here." No, no, no, no. I can do that, there's no one watching, it's just the three of us, and in my mind, that's how this is working. So I'm comfortable. So when I walk into a room, I'm more likely to be the guy in the corner holding a drink like at a eighth grade mixer, and waiting for someone to come and talk to me. And then once they do and they ask me a question, if it's something I do for a living, then as you know, you can't shut me up. I'll keep talking. So those situations aren't really comfortable. I have to work really hard to go into a room of people I don't know, or maybe even a room of people I do know if I'm not in the mood. So the best thing for me is I'll call people and just talk on the phone.

ilise benun:
On the phone?

Andy Brenits:
This thing is a telephone. I will email folks and just ask, "Hey, let's catch up over coffee or a Zoom." It doesn't have to be in person, but it can be live. You have a whole network, a whole sphere of people, friends, family members, someone you used to go to school with in elementary school if you still know them. And if you're not in touch with them, I bet you could Google them or find them on LinkedIn, and say, "Hey, it's been forever. I would love to catch up and see what's going on." That's it. Not a whole song and dance. It's just a little invite to catch up. And through the course of a conversation, you'll talk about friends and family, and, "Hey, you remember 30 years ago?" And, "Oh, tell me what you're doing now."
If you want to meet new people, you could of course just reach out to most of the people you're connected to on LinkedIn who we probably don't know personally yet. There are also some online groups. There's Lunchclub, which I've done a few times and it's kind of interesting. You never know who you're really going to meet. And I've met a gamut of people who aren't necessarily doing the same thing I'm doing, and I find that really interesting. I don't always want to meet people who are just like me. I want to meet and expand my horizons and learn new things.
I also don't network to meet clients. Maybe they can become business partners. Maybe they're just people who can refer me to other people. That's okay. I don't have an overt strategy to say, "Hey, it's been nice meeting you. Can I help you with your branding?" I never do that because it wouldn't work. It would turn people off.

ilise benun:
And so if someone is going to try this one-to-one networking in person, I happen to know that you have a strategy for meeting those people in a group environment, and then kind of taking it off to one-on-one. Would you describe that for us?

Andy Brenits:
Sure, I do. So for the rare occasion where I actually go to some kind of group event, and there are plenty, your local Chamber of Commerce, they have some kind of networking luncheon or evening cocktail hour. They've got something where it's a group of people. They're all there to do the same thing you are by the way. So get over that fear a little bit. I have antisocialitis, like many solopreneurs. But you go into a group, you can find local networking groups through Meetup or just Google networking group near me and something may come up, iNETrepreneur, BNI, something else that's local. There are groups that meet in person near you.
If you decide to go, and you can register ahead of time and see who else is going, that is a bonus. If you can see a list of people who's going, find one, just one person that you think would be interesting to meet. Again, we're not trying to turn them into a client. Maybe it's another person who does what you do, and you're just trying to find some professional colleagues. Or maybe it's somebody who does something similar, and you think you could help them grow their business. You can be generous with your time. If you can find who's on that list and you can identify one person, email them before the event, maybe a couple of days. "Hey, so-and-so, I'm going to this event. I see you're on the list too. I hope you're there. I'd love to meet you. Have a nice day." That's it. Short message through email, or if they have a platform where you can message just a short message.
Then when you get there to the event, there's some kind of table where you have to check in or register. Ask people, "Hey, I'm loving this event. I can't wait. Is so-and-so here yet? Because I'd love to meet them." And somebody at that event, if it's an organized event, they'll be able, someone would walk you over and introduce you, "Oh yes, they're here, they're in that room." Maybe they'll just point, and then you can go in, but at least now you've identified them. Or maybe somebody like a visitor host would actually walk you there and introduce you like at a fraternity, sorority social, right?
So once you're in front of them, what do you do? "Hi, I'm Andy. I'm the crazy guy who emailed you three days ago and said I'd be at this event and I'd love to meet you." That's what I do. That's my icebreaker. And they go, "Oh yeah, Andy, I got your email. Sorry I didn't reply." Because sometimes they don't. "So nice to meet you." And then it's five minutes, five minute conversation of, "Well, it's great to meet you. I'd love to learn more about what you do." Have a little icebreaking conversation. "Do you come to these events often? This is my first time here. Can you tell me?"
And then after five minutes, you find a polite way to excuse yourself, teeing that one up, and you just say, "Well listen, I know you want to talk to some other people. I'm going to go get a drink at the bar or meet someone else. I'd love to get together for coffee sometime, or have a call and learn more about what you do. Are you open to that?" They're going to say yes. Almost nobody says no. I would say actually nobody's ever said no to me even if we never get something else. Say, "Yeah, sure, I would love that." And then you exchange some contact information. Of course you already have their email. And then you just move on.
You go to the rest of the event, stand in the corner and watch everyone if you want, or meet someone else. And it's that easy. That easy to meet one person. Kind of make a little game for your... I just want to go to this event to meet one person. Who is that person? And I also have a backup plan in case that person doesn't go, who's an alternate that I would really like to meet in case? It's a little bit bit like speed dating.

ilise benun:
And what if there's no attendee list and you have no idea who's going to be there in advance, what do you do not to feel really awkward when you enter the room? Often people feel like an interloper, even though there's no reason why they shouldn't be there. But what suggestions do you have for navigating a networking event where you really don't know anyone and you wish you weren't there?

Andy Brenits:
Good question. I try not, if at all possible, to register for events where I can't see the attendee list. On the rare occasion where I would register for one, it would be a kind of group where, statistically speaking, someone I want to meet will be there, even if I don't know who they are yet. That way when I go, I'm kind of prepared. I prepare ahead of time before I go to these. It's like running a marathons. It's like going to a track meet. There's a lot of practice, there's a lot of warmup. And then when I get there, I'll ask same thing, the people who are there to greet you or register, "Is there someone here who does," and then I'll say, PR, writing, in marketing, in medical health technology, whatever it is I want to meet in that moment. I don't list off all the industries. I start with one.
And if they say, "Well, no, I don't think so," then I go to the next one. Eventually they'll land on, "Oh yes, that person over there, Joe, is owner of a VC firm for med tech." "Terrific. I'd love to meet him. Can someone introduce me?" I'll ask. You have to ask. They may say no, or go meet them yourself. But it always breaks the ice a little bit if somebody can walk you up. So that would be my strategies. I kind of go with a little game plan, and I don't just walk into a room. And if I find after a few minutes I don't want to be there, I leave. I just do a quiet exit. Nobody knows me. So it's not really going to be that embarrassing. Yes, I'm 6'4", and I fill up a doorframe so they'll see me walk out, but nothing hurt. You just politely duck out quietly, and I go home and play with my dogs.

ilise benun:
One of my strategies is to look for the person who feels the most uncomfortable, the introverts in the corner, and approach them because I think for the most part they are dying for someone to talk to them and they don't know how to get into a conversation. Because if you're the introvert, even if I know a lot of people like this subject matter extrovert idea, which means that when you're not talking about your subject matter, you are an introvert. And so why not find them and make them feel at home even if you don't feel all that at home. Have you ever done that?

Andy Brenits:
Well, being the introvert, it's not often where I'd be the one to seek someone out like, "Hey, you look uncomfortable standing by yourself in the corner. I'm Andy, who are you?"

ilise benun:
Or is this your first time too?

Andy Brenits:
If I was the kind of extrovert that you are, I would totally do that. But I'm the one who stands in the corner where you would walk in and go, "You look uncomfortable. Is this your first time?" Or maybe a great line where you go, "Hey, do you have kids here?" That's an inside joke. Anyway, a lot of these events though, they'll also have, when they're organized, somebody in a role of a visitor host or a greeter or something. And when-

ilise benun:
That's their job.

Andy Brenits:
That's their job to not let anybody... Sometimes these events cost money, might be five bucks, might be 50 bucks. So they don't want anybody just standing in the corner feeling isolated or alone. So it's their role, not a job, they're volunteers, but it's their role to walk up and start a conversation. And they may even ask, "Is this your first time here? Who are you interested in meeting?" They'll know everybody in the room. They'll know all the regulars. And if you say, "Well, I'm not really sure." "What do you do?" You say whatever you do. And they'll say, "Well, there's there's two other people who are in a related field. I can introduce you." And they're not asking permission. They kind of grab you and they walk over, and they introduce you to Tom and Harry or whoever. And, "This is Andy. He's new to this meeting. Andy, what do you do again?" And that gets you talking. And then they slowly slink away and disappear, and now you're in a conversation with two perfect strangers who won't be strangers for long.

ilise benun:
Exactly. Now my last question for you is about follow up. Because I know you wrote a blog article called The Fortune is in the Follow Up. And I totally agree. And I actually got a message earlier this week from someone who went to a networking event on a boat last week, and I asked her to write about it. I'm going to post that on my blog.

Andy Brenits:
That's commitment. That's commitment. You can't escape it. Once that boat sets sail, you're stuck.

ilise benun:
Exactly. And it was funny because she emailed me one day, and then we had a little exchange. So on the first day she said, "It went okay, I met a few people, I saw some past clients." But you could tell it wasn't what she had hoped it would be. And then the next day she said, "Maybe I was wrong about how successful it was because today I'm following up with those people, and a few of them actually have projects for me." So my point is, and if you want to respond to this that's what I'm looking for, is that if you're looking for an immediate, oh, that was really good or that was really bad, that's the wrong way to think about it, in my opinion. Instead, we should be, as you often say, planting seeds. It's a gardening metaphor. And you have no idea when the flowers are going to pop up, right?

Andy Brenits:
No idea. It could be two days, it could be 20 years. Someone just reached out to me that I haven't spoken to in two decades, maybe even a little bit more. I didn't think he was following me or seeing anything I did on LinkedIn, or even getting my newsletter. I had no idea. But he reached out to me with an opportunity to do some speaking and teaching. The follow up idea is so important because not everybody does it. You remember when we were kids, our parents told us write a thank you note. It's critically important to the beginning stages of building a relationship. If you meet somebody at an event, and you think you'd like to stay in touch, do a short follow up email or text message, or whatever you think their preferred format might be. That's also important.
Don't expect a reply. You may get one, you may not get one for two weeks. But that follow up message is just short, "Hey, so and so, it was great to meet you. I'd love to learn more about what you do. Are you free for coffee?" Or don't even be that overt. Just say, "It was nice to meet you. I enjoyed hearing about your insights on AI," or whatever your conversation was. Just keep a short little outreach, and people will be surprised by that. And chances are they will reply that same day. "It was great to meet you too. Keep in touch. Good luck." Even if it's nothing with an immediate call to action.
But now if you think about the sales cycle, there's the Sandler sales method of zero, which is cold, and eight, which is hot, people are ready to buy. Think about building relationships as zero is they don't know you and you don't know them. One is, okay, you've seen the face, you know the name. Now I want to get to two. I want to build that relationship so that they can get to know me a little bit better, learn to like me. Then they learn to trust me. And with that trust, a lot of opportunities can come. And it's not all take either. Those opportunities could go the other way. You should be listening to what they're looking for and listening for the opportunities for them. And that could be a form of follow up. "Hey, it was great meeting you last week. You mentioned you were looking for this kind of work. I have a friend who does that, and I'd be happy to make an introduction." That's a perfectly valid kind of communication. And that just builds that level of trusting with someone and helps deepen that relationship.

ilise benun:
Exactly. All right, we're going to put the bookmark here. We have one more LinkedIn livestream next week, so I hope you'll join us. But Bonnie, take it away.

Bonnie Fanning:
This was great, Andy. I had so many really good takeaways. So thank you so much for joining us. And everybody who's watching, just remember that we have a big JumpStart Your Networking live event coming up on May 15th from 12:00 to 1:00 PM Eastern. We're inviting a few successful creatives to come talk about how they do their networking, including one really big introvert, so you can steal their strategies for your own business. And I'll pop a link up here so that you can register. It's totally free to join, just register at that link. Or if you want to, you can use the QR code. So again, thank you so much, Andy, for being here, and Ilise for leading this and finding Andy to come talk to us. And I hope that we'll see you guys same place, same time next week.

ilise benun:
Bye y'all. Thanks for coming.

Andy Brenits:
Bye everybody.

Bonnie Fanning:
Bye.

The baby step I’m recommending is that you join me on Monday, May 15th for a new webinar called Jumpstart Your networking. It’s totally free and it starts at 12 PM ET – 12-1 PM ET.

You’ll hear all about it – and the next LInkedIn LIvestream too – when you sign up for my Quick Tips at marketing-mentortips.com. Once you’re on the site, you’ll find lots more free resources.. Enjoy and I’ll see you next time.