2018—not what I’d hoped

2018 has been an interesting year.

I’ve struggled with motivation, focus and timing all year. Despite a pretty healthy lifestyle, exercise and plenty of sleep (and definitely-excessive vitamin intake), I’ve felt a bit drained and lacked energy overall.

It’s been my first year in my new house, with my laundroffice and my new routine and financial responsibilities. And to be honest, I think I’m still recalibrating since my big life changes in 2016.

Though I know it serves NO purpose, I still beat myself up when I’m not being conscious. I find myself wondering:

-Why can’t I be less sensitive?

-Why can’t I be more resilient?

-Why is balance so tough for me?

-Am I “driven enough” to be self-employed?

The rest of the time, I try not to dwell. I try to be understanding and compassionate towards myself as I would towards a friend.

On the bright side, I’ve had some cool projects, great successes, beautiful moments and a whole lot of laughter. I have incredible clients and colleagues who I love collaborating with.

The money

Pretty much all summer, I lazed along denial river. Accordingly, my revenue is shaping up to be its lowest since 2014.

Am I shocked? Not at all.

So what’s my plan for 2019?

I think the more I can take care of me, the more I can take care of my business.

  • I’m going to spend time working on my focus, and asking how I can fill myself up—with more energy, joy and creativity.
  • I’m going to be kind to myself, and practice taking changes in stride. I want to actively embrace change as an opportunity for enrichment.
  • I’m going to explore some questions: How can I be flexible, but still stay in balance? AND What’s the right amount of structure for me?
  • I will continue to honor and hone my own definition of working smarter.
  • I will seek out a few more awesome partners (two more awesome partners like the ones I have now will help me reach my yearly goal for 2019).

Gratitude

I think as the year comes to a close, I’m just really grateful.

Grateful that I can have a slow year and know I have the tools to do better.

Grateful for all of my awesome clients and colleagues who make this possible.

And grateful that I continue to move forward, even when the road gets bumpy.

After all, 2019 will be my 13th year as a self-employed person—and that’s something I’m super proud of.

Hi, I’m Deidre. In my posts, I talk about my voyage down the road of self-employment as a web copywriter, my achievements and roadblocks along the way, and what I’m learning as I go (with Marketing Mentor as my guide). To keep in touch, sign up for my un-newsletter here and get my freebie download, 12 Sparks to Write Sizzling, Audience-Attracting Website Words.