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What’s wrong with this email introduction?

Posted by Ilise Benun on

I get variations on this message every day:

Hi. My name is Tom Smith. I am a graphic designer with a background in marketing.

I would like to offer you my services. I offer this, and I offer that.

You can see samples of my work here (website link). I look forward to working with you.

Sincerely, Tom Smith
Do you ever get messages like this? Do you write them yourself? What is it about the message that doesn't work? (Let us know what you think in the comments.)

More important, do you want to learn a more effective approach that will motivate your best prospects respond?  

You can, if you join my next Marketing Plan Group. It starts Tuesday, April 6th and there are only two spots left! Details here or fill out this form.

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