How Not to Network
by Ilise Benun

I went to a networking event recently where I met a lot of people who clearly knew how to network. Professionals were introducing themselves to me right and left, handing over their business cards, offering their services, asking me what my company, “Marketing Mentor,” is all about. I didn’t see one wallflower standing alone in the corner. No one seemed to have any qualms about talking to strangers or any queasiness when extricating themselves from our conversation to move on to another; it was all done with grace and skill. On the surface, they were doing it beautifully. Even a shy networker would have been fine with this crowd.

But appearances are often deceiving. You see, it’s true that networking is about meeting people and making conversation, which this group did really well. But there’s much more to it than that, or there could be, if you approach networking with the “marketing mindset.”

The “marketing mindset” is a way of looking at the world and seeing every meeting, every situation, every person you meet as an opportunity to make a business connection. It’s not always appropriate to take advantage of the situation, but at least you will see it and make a conscious decision to act or not. And, you won’t miss opportunities.

Here’s what I mean:

1. Make Your Nametag a Silent Conversation Starter. The organizer of this event had not provided nametags -- just blank labels – so each attendee had to write their own name. Simple, right? You grab a ball point pen and print your name like you always do. Well, that’s what they did and the nametags were almost illegible. The main problem was that almost everyone wrote only their first and last name. No company name or title, no clue as to what they do. A nametag has the potential to be a silent conversation-starter, which is especially helpful for those who are nervous talking to strangers. If all you write is your name, you aren’t giving other attendees anything to work with. It’s a small thing but has a big impact.

Here’s what to do instead: Think a moment before you decide what to write. Using the “marketing mindset,” ask yourself: Is my company name familiar? Does it say what my company does?” If not, your tagline may a good thing to include on your nametag as well. Also:

• Make sure your name is legible and written with a thick marker, if possible, so it’s visible from afar and people don’t need to squint or lean in close to read it. For the same reason, don’t use your business card as a nametag.
• In bold, easy to read letters, include your name, your professional designation, your company name and your title.
• Put your Web address on your nametag too. Not only will it be a conversation starter, but it will plant a little seed for someone to visit your Web site.
• You can even use it to ask a question about a resource you need (“Know any good designers?”) Make it funny or unusual. Others will notice and see it as an invitation into conversation.

2. Introduce Yourself with Pizzaz. “I’m a lawyer,” said one guy in a suit as he held out his hand to shake mine. Not the most engaging way to start a conversation, especially because there are so many types of lawyers, and so many different ways to react to the statement, “I’m a lawyer.” I must admit, my eyes usually glaze over when I hear it. I would much prefer to hear what type of law he practices and/or what kind of clients he works with. He could have said, “I practice entertainment law and I work with film production companies and movie stars.” That would get my attention.

I do, however, remember one lawyer who labeled himself as a lawyer but added one word which did indeed make it more compelling. He said, “I’m a Hoboken lawyer,” which piqued my interest, as images of Marlon Brando and Frank Sinatra came to mind.

3. Don’t Use Jargon. “I work for Pitney Bowes,” said another man, proffering his card. That’s also very common: people introducing themselves by telling who their employer is. If it’s a familiar company, as Pitney Bowes is, it can certainly help to orient me toward his industry. But what exactly does it tell me about who he is or what he does? If I want to know more, I have to ask a few more questions.

“And what do you do for Pitney Bowes?” I asked. “I’m in Print Management,” he said. Uh oh – jargon! I know what each of those two words – print and management -- mean by themselves, but I didn’t know what they meant together. Alienation is often the effect of jargon on those outside your industry. That’s why it’s essential to think first about who you’re talking to before deciding what to say, even in answer to the question, “What do you do?”

4. Always Follow Up. This is Networking 101 but it bears repeating because no matter how well you know the importance of follow up, very few people actually do it. After this event, not one person followed up with me. No email messages saying, “Great to meet you.” I didn’t even get spammed by anyone’s email marketing list.

Are we just too busy to follow up? Or maybe we just don’t know what to say? It does take a few minutes to compose a short email message and if you don’t remember exactly what you discussed, you may assume the other person doesn’t remember either. But no matter what you tell yourself when you’re sitting in front of a blank screen with a stack of cold business cards, push yourself to make the effort to write a short note. That way, your email address and message is in their inbox, just in case.

Here’s another technique to prevent blank screen/blank mind: Set the foundation for follow up while you’re talking. Note anything unusual about them or the work they do, any details or specifics that you might forget. Note also, right then and there, any ideas you have about follow up: the link you promised to send or the resource you want to pass along. That way, you will never be able to use the ‘blank mind” as an excuse.

One objective of networking is to plant seeds for future relationships. That’s another part of the “marketing mindset.” But if all you can think of is, “What can this person do for me right now?” you’ll miss out on a lot of great opportunities down the road.

If you miss the chance to expand your network today just because you don’t take the time or don’t know what to say, you may never know what you’re missing. The executive you follow up with today may just be the person hiring tomorrow or the one who could put in a good word at a company you’re talking to. So even if you recognize the value of networking and consider yourself a seasoned networker, always be striving to improve your networking.