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How to guarantee I won’t write (favorably) about your product, service or message

Posted by Colleen Wainwright on

I’ll be the first to admit I’m a sucker for a good pitch. Probably a mistake, given I administer several blogs and write an advice column for actors (a.k.a. the Neediest People on Earth), but it’s true: if you have a good story or question and I’m not swamped, I’ll probably help you out. I enjoy being useful!

On the other hand, if you hit me up with a lame pitch–or worse, a lame pitch attached to a loser cover letter–look out, for you deserve no mercy.

I mean, really: you are sending out a pitch for advertising on people’s appendages. Some part of you (no pun intended) has to realize this makes you at least a target for mockery, if not an outright idiot. On top of that, you don’t even bother to customize the message? (Or, more likely, cough up enough to find decent outsourced help.)

Actual first paragraph of the query:

I found your site http://www.marketingmixblog.com/ and I wanted to know if you could Blog or write an article about how advertiser are now looking at your skin in a whole new way! You can write your own article; alternatively you may use this recent press release below. You also take a look at the [redacted product name] samples and information on our site at [redacted]. Thanks!

I don’t know what I’m more impressed with: the terrioutstandingly creative pitch or the equally creative use of mail merge to customize the query.

But the best part of the email came at the end:

NOTE: INFORMATION IN THIS E-MAIL AND ANY ATTACHMENTS IS CONFIDENTIAL,  AND MAY NOT BE COPIED OR USED BY ANYONE OTHER THAN THE ADDRESSEE, NOR DISCLOSED TO ANY THIRD PARTY WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION.

Because there’s nothing like telling me to quote you…without quoting you!

What’s the worst pitch you ever got? Do you save them for a good laugh (or rant)?

The post How to guarantee I won’t write (favorably) about your product, service or message appeared first on The Marketing Mix.

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